When a Friend is only Happy When You Don’t Succeed

If I want, I’ll leap over your head
and you’ll feel lost, like I left, but it’s just a normal sized step
for me. Shouldn’t I walk?

You didn’t see when I closed my eyes
and wrote the answers wrong so you wouldn’t compare me
and let it make you sad

I wanted to shine but it was never
ok just to be smart, I would have to be defiant and fearless
as well and I was neither

Throat cracked under pressure of
words too heavy for available language to be a vehicle
to convey what they mean

Desire grew into the shape of longing
to be accepted while never left alone, a monster of hunger
that can never be satisfied

The part that isn’t welcome grows
angry and impatient, wanting to blanket you with shadows
of resentful success